April 30, 2012
In this wrought and thoughtful memoir, the widow of Pat Tillman—the professional football player who fatally joined the Army—navigates lost love and possibilities. Adventurous by nature, Pat left the Arizona Cardinals shortly after 9/11 and enlisted just months before his wedding to the author. His grandfather fought at Pearl Harbor, so Pat believed he needed to do something more meaningful with his life, and Marie acquiesced. “By asking him not to go, I would be asking him to be someone he wasn’t.” The couple had been high school sweethearts, spending 10 years together before his death and highly publicized memorial service. Officials first announced that he had been shot in the head by enemy fire in Afghanistan. Later, after a series of difficult investigations—including a frustrating hearing with Donald Rumsfeld—the cause of death was deemed “friendly fire.” In a “just in case” letter that Marie kept on her dresser during his deployments, Pat asked her one last favor: to continue living. “Emotionally guarded” by nature, she shuns the spotlight and moves from the West Coast to New York City, where she goes through the stages of grief out of the media spotlight. Though chronologically jumpy and slightly distanced, Marie makes her way back West as a wiser, more compassionate, and well-traveled single woman. She successfully honors her husband’s legacy while offering solace and hope for those in anguish.
May 15, 2012
The death of Pat Tillman, who put his NFL career on hold to serve his country, was a double blow to his wife. Upon joining the Army after 9/11, Tillman was first sent on a tour of duty to Iraq and then deployed to Afghanistan, where he was killed. Though the first reports claimed he had died a heroic death under enemy fire, soon thereafter a different truth emerged: He had been killed by friendly fire. Marie Tillman had to face not only the loss of her husband, but the fact that the Army had attempted to turn his tragic death into a public-relations coup, awarding him a Silver Star. In this moving debut memoir, the author describes her struggle to deal with grief and to come to terms with the cynical abuse of his sacrifice. She offers a nuanced portrait of Tillman, who, even in college refused to accept the role of jock. When he decided to leave the NFL for the military, he refused to talk to the press because he didn't want to be made into a symbol. Although they were "disconnected from [their] previous lives," they were "focused on being part of...this greater cause." The Tillmans were not deterred by their belief in the illegality of the Iraq War, and they remained committed to his decision to serve. An inspiring account of the author's difficult decision to become a public advocate for military families.
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